My name is Susan. I am from Rochester, New York.
Today I am speaking because I regret my abortion and want to share the truth of my experience with those who may not yet understand how abortion wounds women. I also hope to encourage any woman listening who is drowning in her abortion experience. You are not alone. I know your pain.
In the fall of 1979, I experienced an unplanned pregnancy. I regretfully, I chose an abortion ending the life of my child. A part of me died that day as well. I was never the same after my abortion.
Sadly, this was the lowest point for me in a nine-year downward spiral beginning with being raped in 1970, years of abuse and addiction ending with my choice to abort this child within my womb.
At the time of this unplanned pregnancy, I was alone and felt unsupported. I felt like I was an embarrassment to my family. I was in a state of despair and overwhelmed. Every voice coming at me spoke abortion from our family doctor, Planned Parenthood, and our pastor. I crumbled under the pressure.
During the abortion procedure I experienced fear, emotional numbness and excruciating physical pain.
Immediately after the abortion I felt relief. It was over! However, as time went on I experienced guilt, grief, shame, depression, anxiety, anger and feelings of violation, continued drug addiction and an emergence of an eating disorder. I became increasingly aware of the loss of my child and the permanence of my decision. I longed for my child, a longing that did not diminish with time. Years later I experienced difficulty in bonding with my first living child.
In 1980, I found help and forgiveness through a personal relationship with Jesus. Experiencing His grace and love helped me to forgive myself and the others involved in my abortion decision.
If you have had an abortion, I want you to know…you are understood, you are forgiven, and you are loved by God.
The most important thing about abortion I think people and all women need to know is…abortion wounds women and men and abortion is not the solution to a crisis pregnancy.
As I speak out and share my story, my hope is that my child is given dignity. It is a privilege to speak this truth in love. To honor my sisters and their children touched by abortion—for this I AM SILENT NO MORE!
