In 1992 I had an abortion. I was overwhelmed by the mess that was my life -- a divorced mother with two little boys, working for barely more than minimum wage. My friends consisted of more and more alcohol and a man I'd met at the night club. I dearly loved my boys, but every day I felt like a failure as a mother. I was in denial about my alcoholism and in rebellion against God.
When I got pregnant again, I panicked. The father reacted by sleeping with another girl who showed up at my door looking for him. I called the abortion clinic.
When I arrived at the abortion clinic everything inside of me screamed “Run, run away from this evil place.”
But run to where? Run to who?
The clinic was dimly lit, smelled of sickness, and was filled with women waiting for their turn. The clinic receptionist took my money and asked if I was paying extra for the anesthetic. I paid the extra, was given paperwork and a pill, and sent to the corner to wait.
During the abortion I vividly remember the terrible fear I felt and the abortionist’s stern admonitions to lie still. I laid there in despair and thought: "How will I ever face the world with hope again after THIS?" I knew then abortion was no solution, but a crime against humanity.
Even so, after the abortion I felt like I'd escaped disaster. But soon I was enveloped by profound unworthiness and guilt. My foundation as a mother was cracked beyond repair and I felt compelled to give custody of my boys to their father. For years I wallowed in an abyss of my own choosing, filled with alcohol, drugs and dangerous relationships.
Mercifully, God did not leave me there. In 2000 I surrendered my life to Christ and began a journey of sobriety and responsibility. In 2009, I heard the testimony of a post-abortive woman and began a Bible study called Forgiven and Set Free with her. I learned I could be truly healed by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
He has set me free to be Silent No More - to be a voice that proclaims - I demand a recall of the failed and devastating medical procedure called abortion!