Priests for Life - Testimonies
TESTIMONIES
Mothers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion

Fathers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion

Former Abortion Providers

Women Who Chose Life

Mothers of Large Families

Adoption

Abortion Survivors

Children conceived through rape

Stories of pro-life commitment
OTHER SECTIONS
America Will Not Reject Abortion Until America
Sees Abortion


Prayer Campaign

Join our Facebook Cause
"Pray to End Abortion"


Take Action

Social Networking

Rachel's Vineyard,
A Ministry of Priests For Life


Silent No More Awareness Campaign, A Project
of Priests For Life

Clergy Resources
SIGN UP FOR EMAIL


 

Testimonies

Back
Fix the Problem?
Tammie
 
     

I had abortions because my mother felt that it was the right thing to do. Getting pregnant in her eyes before marriage was disgraceful and shameful. After my first abortion, I never felt remorse because I was taught by my mother that this was something that you do to "fix a problem".  I felt glad that my mother knew what to do so that I didn't have to feel embarrassed for making a bad choice and having a product of intercourse before marriage. The second abortion I had I went on feeling the same feelings I felt before, that I fixed my problem and it's behind me. The third time I knew what to do because my boyfriend already had a child and he didn't want another so I never even told my mother, I just fixed my problem. The fourth abortion I had because I thought that's what you were supposed to do after you got pregnant and weren't married, fix the problem. My boyfriend at the time couldn't afford to take care of a child so again I thought I would fix the problem.

Immediately after my last abortion, I was in the recovery room and I remember the girl beside me had just gotten wheeled in the room and she was crying, very loud and sobbing. I remember looking at her and wondering why she was crying. They put her next to me and through her tears she looked at me and said I can't believe I just killed my baby. At that moment I realized what I did. I was devastated, there were and still aren't any words sufficient enough to describe the void and grief and loss and emptiness I felt that that moment and over the next thirteen years. As time went on after my abortion my life changed. I hated myself. I tried to commit suicide numerous times. I carried the deep pain of knowing that I had a choice and I chose to kill my children. I spent years addicted to drugs and suffering through eating disorders. I never talked to anyone for fear that they would know the truth about me, that I was a baby killer, not just once but four times.

 I met a wonderful man that I married that introduced me to church and God. I finished nursing school and I gave birth to two beautiful healthy girls in 2002 and 2003 and on Tuesday, October 21 2003 I met Jesus Christ and He changed my life.  I learned about forgiveness and healing and salvation. Somehow, even though I knew about forgiveness, I would go on for nine more years carrying the burden of what I did and still unable to find complete healing.  Only until recently have I sought to find peace for what I did.  For years I felt that punishing myself would be a life sentence that I willingly accepted.  I know that I have found forgiveness in Christ Jesus and I know that I will see my babies again in Heaven. I have spent the last three years in private counseling to deal with my emotions as a result of my abortions and I have sought help through a retreat at Rachel's Vineyard that I am scheduled to attend in March of 2013.

Back

Priests for Life
PO Box 141172 • Staten Island, NY 10314
Tel. 888-735-3448, (718) 980-4400 • Fax 718-980-6515
mail@priestsforlife.org