The pain of a forced abortion

I certainly feel your pain. I went through the same thing. I am 45 years old now, but, when my parents forced an abortion on me, I was only 15 1/2. I was almost 5 months along. I was engaged to be married to the boy who was the father. I never had sex until him and he was also a virgin at age 18. Well, I was thrilled about having the baby. I was already showing and very proud of it too. My parents are strict Italians and did not think a young unmarried girl of my age should be having a baby. They yelled at me and said terrible things about me, how shameful it was, and what would the neighbors think, and so on and so on. My mother even threatened to punch me in the stomach if I tried to keep the baby.

Now remember, this was back in 1969. There were very few places for a girl in my situation to turn to for help. And I didn't know of any places I could go. I couldn't run away. Where would I run to? My fiancé was in boot camp and he couldn't get out to take me away from my parents, so they drug me into the hospital and gave me that abortion.

I cried and cried. I had nightmares for years after that. I would dream I would take out a gun and shoot my baby in the head, like you, I was also a big mess. Not only did I have emotional problems from the abortion, but I got an infection in my pelvic region, which caused my tubes to crimp up with adhesions. I was ruined for life. I cannot have children. I had two ectopic pregnancies, which they had to remove both tubes.

And all I ever wanted was to be a mother. That was now over, forever. I ended up feeling that I wasn't a woman. I felt I had no reason to live. I became a heroin addict and really messed my life up good! I caught a disease from the addiction called hepatitis C, which is incurable and eventually leads to cirrhosis of the liver. Plus, I have deep seeded emotional scares that will NEVER leave me. I will always feel somewhat guilty. I should have ran away. I should have done something!!

The reason I am telling you all this, is because, I want to spare you the agony that I went through. It took me 30 years to figure out that there is only one cure for the pain of abortion…...... and that was going back to believing in God! I'm not saying that means that you should believe like me, but, I'm saying for myself, it was my only hope of ever being a normal person again. I quit drugs, I go to church, I found a nice man who loves me and I know that my babies are in heaven with Jesus and Mary. I will see them in the end. I had to learn to forgive my parents for what they did and to forgive myself. I pray everyday of my life now. I thank God that I at least didn't get AIDS. He has given me the opportunity to repent for my sins and start over with the hope of going home when I die. My real home, with our lord.

If you are Catholic, go to confession. God is so forgiving and merciful. He loves you and he knows that it wasn't your desire to have an abortion. I would pray that he has mercy on your parents. You have suffered enough now. Please, forgive yourself and try to keep from punishing yourself. Leave it in the hands of God. I hope this letter helps you.

Here are some numbers you can call for more help:
The Nurturing Network: 1-800-TNN-4mom

National Life Center: 1-800-848-love

Several Sources Foundation: 1-800-no-abort

American Crisis Pregnancy Helpline: 1-800-67-baby-6

Your sister in Christ,
Lina

"People for Life"

Post-Abortion Facts, Reconciliation and Healing