I no longer take life for granted

I was 25 years old, married but having marital troubles and was very unhappy in my job. With the encouragement of two female friends, I had an abortion at pre-term without my husband's knowledge.

(The abortion was) very routine. I had an I.V. with Valium and felt no pain or discomfort. The nurse who was with me was very sweet. The so-called counselor was utterly useless and did nothing to even ask if I considered alternatives. I found her attitude annoying.

At first I was very happy and satisfied. I had been very angry at being pregnant and resented my husband. But the guilt lay behind the surface and after I was fired from my job, I felt God was punishing me. I didn't accept the gravity of my deed for another four years.

After I became a Christian, I asked for God's forgiveness. I forgave the friends who let me down, the counselor for not caring about me and my husband for putting me in such a position of distrust that I couldn't count on him.

I no longer take life for granted. I will always wonder if the difficulty I had giving birth the first time was a result. Born babies I had later were breach at term (one was turned by the doctor, the other by itself).

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